i'll be there for you

When i was in middle school, I first heard the song "I'll Be There For You" (before  hearing it on Friends) and i had a select group of people that I would think of when I heard that song.  I thought they would be my friends forever, but now most of them aren't in my life anymore.  Not because of death, but distance and just losing touch with each other.  And for a while, whenever I would hear that song, I would think of the people who's friendships I had lost.  But  now, I'm almost graduated, and there's a new group of people that I automatically think of when I hear that song.  People that I love so much, who have done so much for me and mean so much to my life that I never ever want to lose.  I guess it kind of goes along with nostalgia, but now it's a good nostalgia because I can think of all the good memories I've made with them, and it edges out my lasting bitterness towards a lot of things.  I don't really know the point of this post, but I guess it's just me saying how glad I am that I'm not so lonely anymore.
Anyway, this is the song I listened to while writing this.  I heard it on the That 70's Show finale and the finale always makes me nostalgic.  It's Big Star's version of the song Thirteen.  Eventually I'll make a post about being thirteen even though I'm the only one who reads these, really.

nostalgia

Nostalgia for me is sunshine and the smell of cut grass.  It's the feeling of the last day of school approaching and the days getting longer.  It's that joy you feel when you're with your friends on a wonderful day and you feel like you could explode from how happy you are in that moment.  It's the memory of hugs and the memory of looking at the sunset.  It's hoping to god that you and them can stay friends forever because you can't imagine being with anyone else.  It's fireworks, and tan lines, and staying up till three watching netflix.  It's red and gold and blue and green.  Nostalgia hurts.  Sometimes I get on the track of thinking about what happened in the past and have to remind myself that good memories will continue to come, and that it's okay that things have changed.

zombies, man

Do you ever wonder why we as a culture are so obsessed with zombies?  Maybe it's due to the lack of knowledge about what happens when we die.  You have people who believe in heaven and hell, and you have people who think that once you're dead, you're straight up dead.  No more life, ever, at all.  But could it also be a fascination with wanting to live forever?  Figuring that if you die, you can come back, or have your loved ones come back.  I really hate zombie apocalypse scenarios.  I hate them so much.  They make me panic and once I start thinking too much about them, I start crying.  I don't like crying.

nuts n bolts

Sometimes I find random nuts and screws and bolts and stuff on the ground when I'm outside and I always wonder where they came from.  They don't look new enough to be just a new thing someone bought and dropped accidentally.  What's going to happen to the thing it came from?  It might break, or might not even work now because one little piece fell off.  Of course, it can be replaced, like most things.  Unless you're a company that sells parts that are only compatible with that product.  You suck.

Take notice

It can take a lot of courage for people to post their art, writing, music online.  And to do that, and have the feeling that everyone is ignoring it can be painful.  I've dealt with a lot of nervousness about posting my own writing to tumblr or facebook or where ever, because when I do, it constantly feels like people ignore it.  It discourages me from showing people my potential and growth, and what I feel like I do best.  Recently on facebook, I saw a post where someone said they finally got the courage to post their own music onto their page, and it got 0 likes and 0 comments.  To some, it might seem like something attention seeking, but I got it.  I've felt like that before.  So take a moment when you see that poem, or story, new song, or art piece your friend posted, because even if it's just one person, it's one more person that you feel is appreciating what you're doing.
~xx